You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
