My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
