I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize