I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sorry about my life...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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