But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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