That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
tonight lets celebrate not being married
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
