my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
