We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
