Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
