I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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