Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You are the jesus of drinking
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You are a genius and a whore.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize