I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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