this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My vagina is officially offended.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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