Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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