she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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