How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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