I wanna passion pit in your ass
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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