the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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