Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
