Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
