I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My feet surprised me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
