I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
