Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
