I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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