did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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