I need help removing her.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Barsexuality is the new black.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize