All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
