weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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