Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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