I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
