We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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