imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You've changed since you got that strap on
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
