so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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