So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
