Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
