Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
