Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
