just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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