OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Terrible idea I love it
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
