dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
