Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
