Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My ass is underappreciated
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
