Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
