We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
