I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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