upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
cat food counts as protein by the way
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
