she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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