...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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