Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
