Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
