2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
