I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
