i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
