Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
