"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
