I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Everything about him screamed your future.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
