your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
