i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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