What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Boobs speak an international language.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
