We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize