i don't like sucking hair
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize