Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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