I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
