So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
