I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
