How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize